Is this it
by PornstarPrincess
Summary: CHAPTER 6 IS UP! Is this it? Is this how life is meant to be? Derek is back in Seattle after leaving 2 years for bigger and brighter things. Is he ready for what he is going to return to? This chapter Mere/Dere sex...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Sad but true I own nothing.

Derek stood out side of the door of Joe's bar. Inside he could see Christina, Alex, Izzy and the women that made everything seem so much more real, that made his life seem worth while, the woman that he had spent so much time with and had left which he thought was for the better. But now he had realised that it was the wrong thing to do, and he was now back to fix things. Meredith was sat laughing with her friends, pushing her blonde hair back behind her ears, away from her perfect blue eyes.

They all look older, but some what the same. It had been 2 years since he left and went to New York. 2 years that he had been without Meredith, those 2 years were the hardest of his life. He knew he shouldn't have left. He knew it was a stupid decision but it was a decision that he had to make._ I can't do this. _ Derek turned away from opening the door. Now wasn't the right time, he needed to speak to Meredith while she wasn't with her friends, he needed to talk to Meredith alone. He new what would happen if he went in and talked to Meredith he new what Christina would say._ I shouldn't disturb her now I should wait for tomorrow. _Derek looked back up where his eyes met Meredith.

***

Meredith looked toward the door, feeling as though she was being watched. "You have got to be kidding me." Meredith said quickly and turned away from who she was looking at and hid behind Alex, hoping that some how he didn't realise it was her.

Christina, Alex and Izzy looked to where Meredith was looking.

"Is that?" Izzy asked looking at Alex and Christina as she took a sip of her white wine.

"I'm going to kill him," Christina said jumping out of her seat ready to give Derek a piece of her mind.

Meredith grabbed her arm, stopping her from launching herself at her ex. "You are not going to do anything."

"But Mere!" Christina looked to Meredith as she pulled her back down to her seat.

Meredith looked from Derek then to her friends. "We all knew he would come back some day and today just seems to be the day." Meredith stood and started to gather her things. She picked up a shot glass and swallowed down the amber liquor, feeling the burn as it made its way through her throat.

"But Mere…?" Christina was confused; she didn't understand why Meredith was rushing out to see him, after everything that had happened.

"Seriously, this is just something I have to do." Again Meredith looked back towards the door. Derek was no longer there. Meredith assumed that he had must have walked up the stairs towards the road.

Meredith held the cold door handle to the door at Joe's. Her hand was shaking and she was so nervous. _Breathe Meredith,_ Meredith said to herself as she took a deep breath, opened the door and made her way up the stairs to the road. Did she really want to go through this, and now.

Derek Stood outside near the road rubbing his hands, as he looked across to the hospital that he left to find bigger and brighter things for himself. He was going to have to in there tomorrow and beg for his job back, it wasn't going to be easy. This week was going to be a full week of things that wasn't going to be easy.

"What are you doing here Derek?" Meredith asked hugging her coat closer to her body as she stood at the top of the stairs of Joe's.

Derek took a deep breath in and turned around to face her. "Meredith, I came back here for you," He said coming closer to her, with sad eyes.

"Seriously?"

Derek looked at Meredith with sad eyes. He was longing to hold her, to feel her against him once more. He missed the feel of her against his body, she missed her smile.

"Seriously. Derek…you came for me," She said with a slight laugh looking up towards the sky_._ "Where were you when everything was falling apart? Where were you when all my days were I spent by the telephone, where all I needed was a call?" Meredith started to walk away, knowing that she couldn't handle this discussion, the one that she was longing to have all this time. She thought she could handle seeing him again and telling him how much he had fucked up her life, but she couldn't, it was just too much for her, she just had to get away from him.

"Meredith," Derek said hoping that would stop her walking away. "Meredith!" He shouted as he started to follow her. "You know that I had to get away. You know I had to get away from all this. We talked about all of this." Derek sighed. "I'm here now, I'm back," Derek said as he stopped walking.

Meredith also stopped walking. "That's not good enough Derek!" she said as she could feel the tears starting to sting her eyes. Meredith turned to look at him and began to wipe the tears away with her hand. "I needed you then I don't need you now. I am over this, I am over us." Meredith's tears had now started to run down her face. "You never wrote, you never left any messages. You took our whole world Derek, and we will never get that back." Meredith again turned and walked away wiping her tears from her face.

"Our?" Derek was puzzled, _what did she mean by our?_

Meredith Stopped and looked back at Derek. "What didn't Addison or Mark tell

you?" Meredith said angry that he was playing dumb.

"Tell me what Meredith?" Derek Said moving a step closer. Knowing that he made Addison and Mark promise not to mention Seattle Grace or Meredith.

"See this is why I was calling and why you should have called me back…"

"Meredith!" Derek was starting to get impatient

"You don't honestly know do you?" Meredith asked, slightly shocked that Addison and Mark hadn't told him.

"Know what?" Derek was now starting get frustrated.

Meredith couldn't think of any other way to tell him, other then just saying it. "Derek we have a son."

Derek's face softened. "I have a son?" Derek looked at Meredith, his heart breaking for not being there for her. "We have a son?"

"Yes Derek we have a Son." Meredith longed to hug him. "We have beautiful boy." Meredith moved a few steps closer to him. "And all I wanted to do was to share you with him. But where were you?" The tears again started to fall from her eyes as she remembers the time without Derek when she gave birth to their son.

Derek didn't answer. All that kept going through his head was that Meredith and he had a son, and how much of a foul he was not being there.

"Fine," Meredith said knowing that there wasn't an answer coming. Turning Meredith walked away.

Derek looked up from the ground and pulled out his phone as he looked at Meredith walking away. First he dialled a number then put the phone up against his ear. Someone answered. "We need to talk now." Derek said in a strong tone. "I will meet you at yours."

Derek knocked on a large wooden door. The door opened to show a shirtless man. "Mark, why didn't you tell me?"

"Well hello to you too." Mark stepped aside and let Derek in. "Why didn't I tell you what?" he asked as he closed the door and followed Derek down the hallway.

"Meredith!" Derek shouted as he seemed now in the state of shock. He lifted his hands to his head and ran his fingers hard through his brown hair, his eyes were red and he had looked like he was crying.

Mark winced knowing that Meredith had told him about her having his child, and how devastated she was knowing that Derek wasn't picking up the phone to talk to her. "How about we take a seat and talk about this," Mark said directing Derek to the sitting area.

Derek took a seat on the black leather lounge and held his head in his hands.

Mark went over and poured both of them a single malt scotch. Picking up the glasses Mark walked over to Derek and placed the scotch down in front of him, and then took a seat opposite him. "Ok what did you want to know?"

Derek took the glass in his hand and swallowed all the scotch in one mouthful. "Why didn't you or Addison tell me? Why didn't either one of you think that I needed to know this?"

"Derek you made both of us promises not to mention anything about Meredith." Mark put his drink on the coffee table in front of him. "Addison and I really gave some thought about this too. We thought it was better off for the both of you if you didn't know. Come on Derek we didn't think you would ever come back, we thought that you were gone for good. Plus Meredith wasn't handling any of this well, and the last thing she needed was you to come back and then leave again."

"It wasn't up to you to decide this for me." Derek said standing and pacing slightly. "You should have never kept this from me. I had a right to know!"

"Derek!"

Derek looked towards Mark.

"What we did was the right thing." Mark said firmly as he watched him walk around the room. "You didn't see how Meredith handled this."

"It still wasn't your decision!" Derek shouted as he stopped pacing and looked at Mark. Looking away from him and again started pacing.

"Yes it was!" Mark was now losing his cool. Even though Derek was his best friend, when he found that Derek had left and Meredith was pregnant he was furious.

Derek stopped his pacing and looked towards Mark. Derek had never seen this amount of emotion from him before. Now he remembered him being pissed off and emotional about Addison and himself when he came to Seattle to get them back, but nothing like this.

"When you left you destroyed her. You have no idea what all of us went through to keep her going. Then she found out she was pregnant." Mark shook his head "It nearly killed her Derek, knowing that she was having your baby and that you were not around. I don't know how many times she tried calling you and you never answered. I thought you were different. I thought you would get passed what happened and you would pick up the phone. You were her family and once again her family had left her."

Derek sat back down on the couch. "And again I became the thing that let her down. I became the thing that she was always running away from."

"Well that is what you get for making a career move and not caring about what happens to anyone else." Mark said with a sigh.

"You knew that no one wanted me here. Meredith didn't want to try any more and Richard didn't want to step down a chief. I had to move on. I had to get away."

"Get away or not you should have answered the phone," Mark said finishing off his drink. "That was the least you could have done, for her."

Mark stood tied and annoyed at Derek. "Look why don't we finish this conversation tomorrow." Mark walked toward the hall way and looked back at Derek who was still sitting on his couch. "Derek stay here tonight. We will try and sort things out tomorrow."

Derek looked at Mark as he stood in the hallway. "Thanks Mark."

Mark smiled and continued down the hallway.

Derek laid back onto the lounge and looked up at the ceiling. It had been an emotionally exhausting night, and he couldn't sleep. There was too much to think about. He had a son. Meredith and he had a son, Meredith had given birth to his child and he didn't know about it. Meredith had brought their son into the world and he wasn't there to help her or witness the birth of their child. Derek sighed, he wanted to know what he looked like; he wanted to know if he had her eyes, or his hair. Derek closed his eyes, trying to picture what he looked like, with doing this he feel into a dreamless sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing I tell you, Nothing

Meredith stood at her front door not ready to open it. _Stop crying Meredith it is not worth it. _Meredith wiped the tears from her face and took a deep breath and opened her door. Taking off her Jacket and placing it on a hook by the door, she started to look around the front living area. "George you here?"

"Hey Mere how was your night?" George asked walking to her as with a tea towel over his shoulder.

"Please, I don't want to talk about it," she said as she put her hand up as if to block the conversation. Meredith walked over to the lounge room and fell on to the lounge. "Did he get to sleep ok?"

"Yeah he did," George said as he sat down on the lounge next to her. "Are you ok?" Worried that some thing really bad happened to her.

Meredith sighed and pulled her hair back into a pony tail. "Yeah I am perfectly fine," Meredith said sarcastically. "The night started out fine, and then he had to turn up,"

George wasn't sure who she was talking about.

Meredith didn't look over to see the confused look of his face. "He was out of my life for two years, two years George. Why did he have to come back?" Again the tears where back, Meredith tried so hard to hold them back. She didn't want to give Derek the satisfaction of crying again.

George just suddenly realised who she was talking about. "Meredith, why don't you go to bed? I can stay the night and look after Lachlan."

Meredith gave him a sad smile. "Thanks George." Meredith got up from the lounge and slowly made her way up the stairs towards her room. She was pretty tired, and really needed to relax.

Meredith stopped right before her room looked at a closed door. Quietly she opened the door and heard soft breathing. Meredith turned on the light and walked over to the cot, to see a small child sleeping quietly. "Hey little man." Meredith pulled the covers up slightly on to him and leaned over and kissed his forehead stroking his hair before turning and leaving the room before turning the light off and closing the door.

Walking into her room she flopped on to the bed. Looking over to the clock the time read 1:46am. Sighing and looking up to the ceiling she realised that she had to get up in 3 hours to go to work. _Lets hope today is a better day._ Meredith leaned over and grabbed the phone that was on her bedside table. Dialling a number she held the phone up to her ear. Suddenly the line on the other end answered.

"Hi you've reached Dr Mark Sloan. I'm not here right now, but if you leave your name and number I will get back to you."

The line beeped.

"Mark, it's Mere," Meredith sighed. "He's back and I need someone to talk to, and well…I was hoping you would answer…but I guess that you are either asleep or busy. So I guess I will see you tomorrow." Meredith hung up the phone and placed it back on the bedside table. Sighing again she laid down on the bed. Slowly closing her eyes Meredith feel asleep.

Derek sighed.

It had seemed like he had been up for hours, only getting a couple of hours sleep. There were so many thoughts running through his head. About Meredith, about his son, about what had happened since he was gone. Sitting up he thought of the night before and how he talked to Meredith. He had thought of that night so many times before and the different scenarios they both could possibly have, but none of them ended up how they did last night.

"I have a son," Derek said to him self as he rub his hands over his face and through his hair. Sighing again Derek stood up and started to look around the lounge room. There were a few happy snaps of Meredith and Mark and of other people in the hospital.

"There is one photo that you should look at." Derek looked around to see Mark holding a cup of coffee and wearing sweats.

"What photo?" Derek asked as Mark turned around walked over to a cabinet across the hall and picked up a shinny silver frame.

"Here," Mark walked over to Derek and passed him the frame.

Derek looked at the frame and then to Mark. "Is this…is this." Derek couldn't get the words out to ask what he was looking at.

"Derek that is your son," Mark said pointing down at the frame.

Derek looked at the photo to see Mark holding a little boy; he couldn't be more then 1 or 2. The boy had dark brown thick hair and blue eyes. "Derek looked up to Mark with tears in his eyes. "What's his name?"

Marks lightly smiled looked from the photo to Derek. "Meredith called him Lachlan."

Derek smile and looked back down to the photo. Derek sat on the lounge still looking at the photo. "I am going to try and make up for what I have done."

"How about you leave her alone for a while."

Derek looked up to Mark.

"Just let her get used to you being here," Mark said sitting down across from him and took a sip of his coffee.

"So what else were you thinking of doing today?" Mark asked.

"I thought I would go into Seattle Grace and beg for my job back," Derek said slight laughing, as he stood the photo up on the coffee table in front of him.

"Do you think that Richard is going to give it back to you after you just left like that?" Mark asked as he leaned back into the lounge.

"Well I am the number one Neurosurgeon in the country," Derek said cocky.

Mark laughed. "Well if you want a lift you can give you a lift."

"Yeah that would be great," Derek said smiling sadly, glad that he had Mark as a friend and that he is willing to help him out after what he has done.

"Ok we will leave in half an hour," Mark said as he got up from the lounge and walked down the hallway.

Derek again picked up the photo. "That's my son."

* * *

"Should we wake her?" Izzy asked as she took a sip from her pink mug.

"She had a hard night Iz, I don't even know if she should go into work," George said bouncing the little boy in her arms.

"George we can't make that decision for her, you know Meredith she will want to get lost in her work," Izzy again took a sip from her mug as she let Lachlan play with her fingers.

Suddenly the door opened and there stood Meredith in the same clothes that she was wearing last night. "You do know that I can hear everything you two are saying as you are standing right outside my door?"

"Ahhh Mer we just wanted to know if you are coming in with us this morning?" George asked as he manoeuvred little boy in his arms.

Izzy looked at George and then Meredith as she sucked on the rim of her mug.

"Of course Georgie why wouldn't I be?" Meredith messed Lachlan's thick dark brown hair and walked back into her room and closed the door behind her.

"Well I guess she is coming to work," George said as she walked down the hallway. "Now I think it is time for breakfast, little man. Yes, yes it is."

Izzy sighed and walked into the bathroom behind her and started to get ready for work.

Meredith stood in her bathroom in front of her mirror. Once again she had to tell herself to breath. _Today is going to be a good day, today is going to be a good day._ Meredith repeated to herself as she slowly breathed in and out as she closed her eyes.

Meredith turned on the tap and then pulled her hair back in a pony tail, she didn't have time to have a shower, so she thought by freshening up she would wash her face. Then she would get dressed. She still hadn't heard from Mark since she called him last night. He usually wouldn't miss her fall calls, or at least if he did he would give her a call usually within an hour of her calling, no matter what the time was.

Once she was done she got dressed in a pair of tight fitting jeans and a dark pink long sleeved shirt and made her way down to the kitchen where George was feeding Lachlan.

"Here comes the aeroplane."

Meredith laughed as George made noises like an aeroplane as the spoon came towards the little boy's mouth.

"Hey Mer are you ready for work?" George asked as he wiped Lachlan's face.

"Yeah I just have to grab Lachlan's stuff from-"

"Done" Izzy said as she put a blue backpack on the table and walked over to the kettle and filled her travelling mug up with hot water.

"Thanks Izzy you didn't have to do that."

"It's fine," she said smiling. "I got up kinda early this morning and had nothing to do. So I came down to the kitchen to have something to eat." Izzy opened the fridge and looked inside. "I ate everything." Izzy closed the fridge and looked at Meredith. "I even ate a tub of butter. I needed to do something nice to make myself feel better."

Meredith looked at George who had a face that screamed OH MY GOD.

"Ok little man it is time to go," George said as he picked up the child who was wearing little pair of blue jeans and a green button up shirt and passed him over to Meredith.

"Well you do look handsome today, Uncle George does have style," Meredith said smiling as she hugged her son.

"Well that is because he is a chick magnet like his Uncle," Izzy said as she nudged George as they all left the house and pilled into the car off to work.

Derek stood outside the door of Richard's office and took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

"Come in!"

Derek opened the door and walked in. "Hi Richard."

"Ahh I see the roomers are true, Derek Sheppard has returned to Seattle Grace," Richard took off his glasses and leaned back into his chair. "So I am guessing that you want your job back?"

"Yes that is what I have come back here to do." Derek crossed arms and tried to look confident.

"Why should I take you back when you left Seattle Grace to go work in New York?" Richard leaned forward in his chair. "Give me a good reason?"

Derek slightly laughed; he knew that this wouldn't be easy. "Richard you know why I left, I had to get away from this hospital; I had to get away from my life here. I needed to do something for me." Derek took a seat down on the lounge.

"So you thought moving to New York and becoming Chief at the Hospital there."

Derek ran his fingers through his hair. "Well I thought it was the right thing, but." Derek shook his head. "Now coming back and seeing the mess I left behind, the hurt that I had caused so many people." Derek looked at Richard. "I want to make up for all of that, I want to…"

Richard stood up and walked over and sat next to Derek on the Lounge. "Now Sheppard if you are wanting your job back just so you can be closer to Meredith then it is a no."

"Richard I want my position back here, I am willing to start work today," Derek stressed to him.

Richard thought for a moment. "Alright." Standing up Richard turned to Derek. "You can have your job back."

Derek stood up and shook his hand. "Thank you Richard." Derek walked towards the door.

"Derek."

Derek opened the door and stopped to look at Richard.

"Meredith, she's been through a lot since you have been gone."

Derek nodded and left the room, breathing a sigh of relief as he closed the door behind him.

* * *

Izzy who decided to drive pulled into a parking spot in the hospital car park.

"George what's the time?" Izzy asked as she turned the engine off.

"6am," George said looking at his watch, then opening the door and getting out of the car.

"Great were going to be late," Izzy said getting out of the car and pulling her hair into a ponytail.

"Do you want me to come with you Meredith?" George asked as he picked up his bag from inside the car.

Meredith started to unbuckle Lachlan's child seat. "No George you go do rounds, I will take Lachlan to childcare and meet you there."

George nodded and left with Izzy to go get ready for rounds before Dr Bailey found out that they were missing.

* * *

Derek made his down to the entrance of the hospital hoping to catch Meredith on her way in. He knew that he wasn't meant to speak to her, as Richard and Mark had made it abundantly clear not to talk or go near her and to give her some space, but he needed to talk to her, he needed to know if he could meet his son.

* * *

Meredith carried Lachlan through the glass doors of the hospital. "Not now," Meredith said as she stopped walking and stood face to face with Derek, who looked stressed.

"Meredith," Derek breathed, not wanting her to walk away from him.

"Derek not now," Meredith said she said softly as she shielded Lachlan and held him closer to her. Her Mothering instinct taking over.

"Meredith we need to talk," Derek said moving closer to her so that he could block her with his body.

Meredith tried to move around him. "Derek please, not now. I don't have the time for this."

"Well when? When will you have the time?" Derek said trying not to seem inpatient as Meredith moved him. Derek turned around to watch her walk away from him.

Meredith stopped walking and looked over her shoulder at him. "Not now." Meredith again started to walk away. She was still not ready to start this conversation, and she didn't want to do it in front of Lachlan.

After dropping off Lachlan at childcare, Meredith rushed to her locker and got changed into her scrubs and met up with everyone after rounds.

"You're late Grey," Bailey said not even turning around from the work that she was doing.

"Sorry Dr Bailey I had to discuss some thing with the childcare workers," Meredith said pulling out her note pad out of her pocket ready to take notes if she needed to. She also wasn't going to tell everyone that she was tell the childcare workers, that she didn't want Derek visiting their son at the childcare centre.

"That's alright Grey, just don't let it happen again," Dr Bailey said in a strong voice, as she turned around. "But I am sorry you have missed out of all the good assignments. So you're in the clinic with Christina."

"Clinic again," Christina said sounding pissed off. "This is the third time I have been stuck down there."

"Hey you will get what your given, and if your not careful you will be stuck down there next shift." Dr Bailey said, sick of her interns giving her lip.

Once Bailey had dismissed them, Christina and Meredith walked towards the closest elevator, so that they could make their way down to the clinic.

"So are you going to spill?" Christina asked as she leaned against the wall and waited for the elevator, obviously over being stuck in the clinic.

"What do you mean?" Meredith asked playing dumb as she really didn't want to talk about Derek. She wanted to talk about him over the 2 years that he had been gone, but now that he was back he didn't want to talk about him.

"Come on Mer don't play dumb, it doesn't suit you." Christina pushed herself off the wall as she heard the elevator ping, and both Meredith and she walked into the elevator.

Meredith walked to the back of the lift so she could lean against the wall and watched Christina press 1 so the elevator could keep moving.

"Grey don't make me hurt you," Christina said as she moved close to Meredith and held up her fist.

Meredith sighed and looked at the top of the elevator doors to see the floors descending. "What's there to tell, Derek and I spoke," Meredith said and she walked to the opening doors as the elevator pinged at there floor.

"Oh come on," Christina said following Meredith through the hospital and through the doors of the clinic. "Mc Dreamy comes back to Seattle, the Father of your child and you guys just spoke."

"What did you expect us to do? And I thought that we said we wouldn't call him that anymore?" Meredith asked as she picked up a chart form the desk. "Mr Thorne," Meredith called, just wanting to get beyond this conversation.

"That's right we gave him the classy name of…" Christina thought for a moment. "That's right McDick," Christina said almost disgusted that, that is what they called him. "I don't know Mere," Christina shrugged answering her question as she also grab a chart. "You could have at least torn him a new one or something."

Meredith slightly smiled as she tried to control her laughter as the man that she called stood in front of her. "Just come this way Sir," she told her patient as she showed him to a bed. "Just take a-"Meredith stopped as her pager beeped. "Damn it." Meredith excused herself from her patient and walked over to Christina who hadn't started. "Christina, I've been paged to the pit can you cover me?"

"What how come I didn't get paged to the pit." Christina said to herself as she checked her pager as well to see if it was working. _No still working_, she thought as she picked up the chart that Meredith had put on the counter and walked over to the patient. "So you're Mr Thorne?"

The patient nodded.

"So what's wrong with you?" Christina asked annoyed.

Meredith rushed through the door and to Dr Bailey that was standing in a yellow trauma gown in the middle of emergency.

"Ahh Grey trauma 3."

Meredith nodded, not bothering to ask what was awaiting her, and all she hoped that she could get a kick ass surgery. Meredith opened the door and jumped into action. "Ok what have we got?" Meredith asked as she put on a yellow trauma gown.

"30 year old male car cash victim, possible broken bones, possible internal bleeding, and possible spinal injury."

Meredith didn't know who was talking to her with the several nurses and paramedics rushing around her. "Ok let's start him on a saline drip." Meredith walked over into sight of the patient. "Hi my name is Dr Grey, what's yours?"

"I'm Peter…Peter Soy," the patient said his eyes darting around the room in a panic, unable to move his head as his neck was in a brace. "I can't…I can't move, what's wrong with me? Why can't I move?"

"Please calm down Mr Soy," Meredith said politely as she looked up to his monitor knowing that if he started to panic his blood pressure would shoot up. "Are you allergic to anything?" Meredith checked his chart to see if someone had go these particulars before.

"No nothing. Why can't I move?" the man asked again panicked that he couldn't move his limbs.

"Give him 10 of morphine," Meredith said to the nurse that was putting the drip in his arm. Looking back to the patient she slighted smiled. "Mr Soy, from what we can ascertain you have suffered multiple contusions and broken bones. You are currently in a neck brace as we are unaware if you have any spinal damage."

"What would you like me to schedule Dr Grey?" A nurse in blue scrubs asked.

"Schedule CT, x-ray and better schedule a Neuro consult as well." Meredith looked back to the patient. "Mr Soy we have given you some morphine for the pain and we are going to take up for some tests to find out if you have any other injuries. Ok" Moving to the end of the bed where there was a small table, Meredith began to write in his notes of what she ordered.

"There ready for us up at CT Dr Grey and the Neuro consult will be waiting up there for us."

"Alright let's go," Meredith said smiling as they started to push Mr Soy up to CT, Meredith unaware who was the on call Neuro Consult.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own nothing. That's right I own nothing.

Hey everyone I am so glad that people have been adding this fic to their favs, but please review so I know what you think.

After trying to confront Meredith earlier that morning, and just trying to talk to her about the past 2 years and why he made his decision to move, Derek went to his office to try and figure out ways to try and get Meredith to talk to him. Derek sighed as he ran his fingers through his dark thick hair when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in!" He called looking at the door waiting for it to open.

The door opened and in walked Mark wearing dark blue scrubs and his white doctor's coat. "How is the number 1 Neuro surgeon in the country settling in?"

Derek laughed "It is like I never left." Derek leaned back in his chair. "Everything is still where I left it." Derek lifted his hands up to point out that everything was still around his room.

"Well Richard thought you would be back," Mark said sitting in a chair in front of his best friend's desk. "Although I don't think he thought you would wait this long."

Derek slightly laughed. "No I don't think he did." Derek leaned forward and nervously tapped his desk. "I tried to talk to Meredith this morning."

"Oh come on Derek, didn't I tell you to wait," Mark said angrily, shaking his head. Sighing he leaned forward. "Well I am guessing she didn't talk back."

"No she did. Just to tell me that she wasn't talking to me," Derek said sadly looking down at his hands on his desk.

"See you have to give her some time." Mark leaned back in the chair. "You just can't walk in and out of her life when ever you want to and expect her to talk to you, and also expect everything to be the same like it was before you left."

The room fell silent. Derek knew that things weren't going to be easy, and when he decided to come back to Seattle to make things right between Meredith and himself he didn't think things would have changed so much, and he definitely didn't think that he would have a son. Suddenly the awkward silence was disturbed by a pager beeping.

Derek took his pager off his pants and looked from it to Mark. "I'm needed in CT." Getting up from his chair and walking over to the door he picked his white coat from the coat rack and left the room leaving the room with Mark in it.

* * *

As Mr Soy was ready for his CT, Meredith sat in the observation room waiting on his imagers to appear on the computer screen and also waited on the Neuro consult.

"Alright lets make this quick, I'm a busy-"Derek stopped his sentence as he noticed Meredith sitting in the chair in front of the computer.

Meredith looked from the screen to see that Derek had walked into the room. "Seriously," Meredith said in frustration, thinking of all the things that could be put on the end of his sentence, dick, prick, and ass just to name a few.

"Meredith," Derek said moving further in the room.

Meredith took a couple of deep breaths, now wasn't the time to get emotional. She was here to do her job and nothing more. "What we have here is Mr Peter Soy. 30 year old male car crash victim with a possible spinal injury. We are just waiting on the imagers now."

"Meredith," Derek said again as he sat down next to her in front of the computer screens. "We don't have to be like this." Derek reached over and touched Meredith's hand with his.

Meredith looked down at there hands. She liked the common sensation that she was feeling, she missed having that feeling of him touching her and she missed the touch of his hands. Looking up at Derek his eyes softened and he smiled._ What the hell are you doing?_ Meredith said to herself as she pulled her hand away from his. _Don't turn to old feelings, you're over him. Remember what he did to you; remember how he left you and Lachlan. _"Don't Derek we are here to work and nothing more. There is no Meredith and no we don't have to be like this, we are working and nothing more," Meredith said as she started typing on the keyboard. She need to put her foot down she need to be strong.

"Meredith we do need to talk at some stage, I need to know where I stand." Derek sighed as she looked at the screen to see that no image was coming up and looked back to Meredith, whose eyes were fixed on the screen, not wanting to look at him.

"Fine," Derek said clearing his throat and looked at the screen to see the image coming up. He was going to give her, her time and just concentrate on what they were doing in this moment. "I see bleeding." Derek pointed to the screen. "Possibly coming from a ruptured spleen, but no spinal injury." Derek stood up and headed to the door. "Page Bailey and book an OR. Once he has had his surgery we will reassess him." Derek stood in the doorway looking at Meredith. "All I want to do is talk, nothing more." Trying again to see if she will communicate to him.

Meredith thought for a moment. "Coffee."

"Coffee?" Derek asked with a glimmer of hope.

"Coffee. In the cafeteria at 1," Meredith said knowing that she could squeeze in a coffee at about 1pm. It was going to be half way through her shift and she knew that she would need a pick me up. And she also thought if she spoke to him in a public place she was less likely to lose her cool.

Derek slightly smiled, happy that she would talk to him. "See you there."

_What are you doing Meredith_, Meredith thought to her self as she printed off the scans to show to Bailey. _You're going against everything you said that you would never do. _

Meredith felt as though on one shoulder her she had the side of right and on the other the side of wrong. She felt that having coffee with Derek was the right thing to do, but something was telling her not too.

Meredith picked the phone and started to dial a number. "Yes, this is Dr Grey; I would like to book an OR." Meredith listened to the person at the end of the line. Looking at her watch she said. "We'll be there."

Meredith stood up and walked out of the room to the nurse's station. "Could you please take Mr Soy done to pre-op?"

"Sure Dr Grey," the female nurse said taking Mr Soy's paper work from Meredith.

Walking around behind the nurse's desk, Meredith picked up the phone receiver and dialled Dr Bailey's pager number asking her to meet her in pre-op, regarding her patient.

Meredith made her way down to pre-op to see Bailey waiting for her at the nurse's station reading a patient's notes. "Dr Bailey I have the scans on Mr Soy." Meredith handed the scans over to her.

Dr Bailey held up the scans to the light and shook her head. "This man has extensive abdomen bleeding." Dr Bailey handed the scans back to Meredith. "Good call Grey lets tell this man that he needs surgery."

Both Dr Bailey and Meredith walked into Mr Soy's room and told the news that he needed surgery and got him to sign the appropriate paper work. Once he had done that the nurse's took him down to the OR and Dr Bailey and Meredith went and scrubbed in. The surgery was pretty much straight forward and Dr Bailey and Meredith managed to control all the breathing, and he was now in post-op recovering.

Meredith looked at the clock after her surgery was finished, it was 12 noon and she was on dreading having coffee with Derek at one. Taking her mobile out of her pocket she checked to see if she had and messages. None. "Why hasn't Mark returned my call?" Meredith asked herself. Meredith dialled his number and waited for it to pick up.

"Sloan."

Meredith sighed slightly. "Have you ever heard of returning calls?" Meredith asked angrily, wondering why he hadn't returned her call, when he was usually so prompt in returning them.

"Ahh Meredith I am so sorry, I had Derek come over last night, and – "

Meredith cut him off. "What so you two are chummy again?" She asked feeling betrayed.

"Meredith please, let's not do this over the phone. We need to talk about this."

"Fine. Let's meet in the cafeteria so we can talk about this." Meredith started to make her way to the cafeteria while still on the phone to Mark.

"I will be there in a couple of minutes."

Meredith hung up her phone and angrily put it in her pocket then crossed her arms in front of her. Was everyone now turning against her now that Derek was back?

Meredith walked into the cafeteria to see Mark sitting in the back with two take away coffees. She made her way over to him and sat down next to him. "Hi."

"Hi Mere." Mark leaned over and placed a kiss on her cheek. Getting no response from her, sighing he handed her, her coffee. "How are you doing?" He asked.

"Fine," she said taking a sip of her coffee.

Everyone knew with past experiences that when Meredith said fine, she wasn't actually fine. It was usually a cover for some underlying problem. "I am sorry that I have been talking to Derek, and that I didn't call you and let you know that I had been talking to him."

It was like a switch flicked in Meredith's head and all the emotions of the past day came flooding back. "Why is he back Mark, why didn't he stay gone?" Meredith looked over to Mark as the tears started rolling down her face. "Why did he have to come back now after all these years?"

"Hey, hey, hey, I know that this is hard and I know that he hurt you but I am here now, and I promise that he won't hurt you again." Mark pulled her into a hug and let her cry all her emotion on his shoulder as he stroked her hair.

A few months after Derek and left and Meredith found out that she was pregnant; Mark helped her out a lot. He made sure that she was taken care of and they grew closer. Everyone had seen a new side of Mark, he was no longer the man whore that everyone knew him as, he had become the man that Meredith needed by her side, and he was almost like the father of Lachlan. Meredith loved that about him, and that is what made Meredith fall in love with him. She was so glad that she had him by her side.

"I'm ok," Meredith said as she wiped her tears off her face and smiled. "A momentary freak out."

Mark slightly laughed. He was very used to these momentary freak outs that Meredith called them. "How about I cook both you and Lachlan dinner tonight?" Mark asked as he wiped a few stray tears off Meredith's face.

Meredith sighed. "That would be nice, but don't you have the enemy sleeping on your couch?" Meredith asked sitting up off Mark's shoulder and taking a sip of her coffee.

Mark grimaced, Meredith was right; Derek was still staying on his couch. "I will ask him to get a hotel room…it's not like he doesn't have the money."

Meredith smiled and placed her hand on Mark's cheek, she could feel his stubble under her hand. "What would I have done with out you?"

Mark smiled and leaned in and placed his lips on hers and began to kiss her.

Derek looked at his watch, it was 12:45 and he was waiting out side the cafeteria hoping that he would meet Meredith there and they could walk in together. _I will wait for her inside_ Derek thought as he walked inside and looked around for a table when his eyes met with a sight that he thought that he would never see.

Derek's hand became a fist and his knuckles went white with the tension. Calming, he took a deep breath and release his hand from a fist and slowly made his way over to there table.

"So I see that you already got your coffee."

Meredith and Mark parted from there kiss with Mark having a surprised look on his face, as he hadn't got to the point of telling Derek that he and Meredith have been having a relationship for about a year and half.

"Derek I didn't know that you were meeting up with Meredith," Mark said looking from Derek to Meredith. With eyes that read why didn't you tell me?

"Well I guess she would have told you if you weren't sucking face with her," Derek said angrily.

"Look you have no right to be angry with us," Meredith said standing, emotions once again getting the better of her.

Derek moved closer to her. "You know his history Meredith, and you still go after him," Derek said loudly.

"Well at least he has been here for me!" Meredith said shouting, and getting the attention of the whole cafeteria.

"Hey!" Mark shouted as he stood and looked at both Meredith and Derek. "You have cause enough pain here Derek, and you have alienated almost everyone you have in you life, how about you end it there before you say something you later regret."

Derek looked at Mark then to Meredith. He was right, about everything, and he knew that he was angry enough to say something that he would regret, and this wouldn't be helping his chances with Meredith.

"Derek, I know that you didn't know about Meredith and me, and that this would have caught you off guard." Mark said trying to calm down the situation. "But you have no right to be angry at this." Mark tried to calm himself down, as he over protectiveness of Meredith had started to come up to the surface. "How about you go away and calm down and try again tonight to chat?"

Derek looked to Meredith who had turned and looked at Mark. "Mark?"

"We can all meet at my place and have dinner," Mark said knowing that he would be able to control the situation.

"Mark?" Meredith said again looking from Derek to Mark, once again thinking what the hell was he doing.

"Meredith he deserves a chance to explain and you deserve a chance to vent," Mark said placing his hand on her cheek. "And this way it is a closed environment and the whole hospital doesn't need to hear about it."

Meredith leaned into his hand. She knew he was right, for some strange reason he was always right. "Fine we will meet up tonight at 8." Meredith moved away from Mark's hand and looked to Derek who didn't answer.

Derek didn't answer as he was feeling sick. Sick to his stomach as he watched Mark touch her. He couldn't stand his hands on her. Taking a couple of deep breaths he answered. "Fine." Derek walked away without saying another word.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Thanks for the reviews guys!!!

For all of those who are wondering when the Meredith/Derek love story is coming up it will be very soon in the next couple of chapters or so.

So please keep those reviews coming!!

After having finishing her coffee with Mark, Meredith went over to the hospital child care to check on her son. Meredith stood at the window of the childcare and watched Lachlan play with the other children. She smiled wishing that everything in her life was that simple. That it didn't matter that another kid had taken your away your building block, as you knew you could find something more interesting, or more fun to play with.

"What time do you get off?"

Meredith turned around to see Alex standing behind her with a patient's chart. "Hi Alex," Meredith smiled and turned back around to look at Lachlan playing with the other children. "I don't get off until 7pm."

Alex closed the chart and walked over to stand next to Meredith. "I get off at 5, do you want me to pick him up and take him home and feed him and put him to bed."

Meredith smiled again; it was nice to see that Alex was so supportive. Ever since he started seeing Izzy again he was around the house and helping out a lot. "Thanks Alex, I will be going over to Mark's to have dinner." She left out the part that she was also having dinner with Derek as she knew that he would tell Izzy and then it would get to Christina who would go on one of her rants.

"No worries," Alex patted her on the back and walk way to go deal with his patient.

The rest of the Day Meredith was in the clinic and checking up on her patient Mr Soy who was now in his room. Once the clock clicked over to 7pm Meredith was eager to go, but she wasn't eager to see Derek, knowing the night will be strained with the conversation of knowing where he stood.

Meredith went to the change rooms and put on her ordinary clothes and let Izzy know that she was going to Mark's and that she probably would be home late.

Meredith waited in the hospital lobby and checked her watch wondering where Mark was.

"Hey beautiful."

Meredith turned around to see Mark standing behind her in his leather jacket, a grey shirt and a pair of jeans. "Hey." Meredith slid her hands under his jacket and hugged him.

"You ready to go?" He asked hugging her back.

"Yeah sure am, let's get this over and done with." Meredith moved away from him and took his hand as they walked out the door and to his car.

Mark hit the button for his central locking and went for his door. "Derek said that he would be about half an hour late as he had a surgery to go to, but that will give us a chance to organise dinner."

Meredith rolled her eyes and got into the car.

Mark also followed laughing at her.

Once getting to Mark's he pulled out a bottle Chateau Lafite red wine and crocked it.

"So what is for dinner chief?" Meredith asked as she handed the glass to Mark so he could pour the wine.

"Umm." Mark looked around him, as if he was searching for something. "Well not sure. I can't actually remember the last time I even shopped," he said laughing.

Meredith giggled, and got up to go to the front door when she heard a knock. As she answered the door the smile disappeared from her face.

"Hello Meredith," Derek said as he chocked on his words.

"Mark's in the kitchen," Meredith said moving aside to let him in.

Derek walked into the house and Meredith closed the door behind him.

"Mere I managed – "Mark cut himself off as he saw Derek. "Ahh Derek your here early."

"My surgery finished sooner then I anticipated." Derek looked from Mark to Meredith, where there eyes met.

Meredith turned away from Derek and looked to Mark. "You were saying something."

Mark smiled. "Yeah I managed to find something that wasn't mouldy or past it's used by date."

Meredith smiled and wondered if he was talking about a take out menu.

"Derek did you want a drink?" Mark asked, wanting to get them more into the house and away from the front door.

"Sure," Derek breathed, feeling really awkward about this whole situation.

Mark began to walk to the kitchen when he stopped and looked towards Meredith who was still standing by the door. "You alright Mere?"

Meredith smiled. "Yeah, I am just going to call home and see how Lachlan is going."

Mark walked over to Meredith and kissed her on her forehead. "Say hello for me."

Meredith watched Mark and Derek walk into the kitchen and she went to the lounge room to call Alex.

"So I hope pasta is ok, because that is all I can seem to find in my cupboards," Mark said pouring a glass of wine for Derek and handing it to him.

Derek took the glass from Mark then swallowed about half the glass. He knew he couldn't continue seeing Mark and Meredith together tonight, without being a bit liquored up. "Yeah pasta's fine," Derek said puffing a little and turned to hear Meredith coming towards them.

"Ok Alex put him on I am getting Mark now." Meredith took the phone away from her ear and handed it towards Mark. "He wants you."

"Ok," Mark slightly smiled. "While I'm talking to him can you cut some tomatoes?"

Meredith nodded and took some tomatoes out of the fridge and picked a knife up from the knife block.

"Hey buddy," Mark said with a smile. "No mummy and I are having dinner with a friend."

Derek's heart sank. He realised that Mark was talking to Lachlan…his son. Derek swallowed the rest of his wine, and then poured himself another glass which he also downed. This was already starting to be too much for him. Once again Mark had taken everything in his life away from him while he was not watching. He had done that with Addison when he got wrapped up in his work, and once again he focused on work and he lost everything.

Mark closed Meredith's flip phone and placed it on the bench. "He's ok now, Alex said that he will try and put him asleep again." Mark slid his hands around Meredith's waist and started kissing her neck, then looked up to Derek who was standing on the other side of the bench. "Did you want another Derek?"

Derek looked down to his glass and then back up to Meredith who had stopped cutting and was looking at him with a slightly confused look. "No. No I can't do this." Derek turned and left the room.

Both Mark and Meredith looked at each other.

Sighing Meredith put her knife down and moved Mark's hands away from her. "I will go."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah we came here to talk so I might as well talk to him." Meredith walked out of the kitchen and to the lounge room where she could here something. "You better slow down on the hooch."

Derek turned around with his glass of scotch and went and sat on the lounge, taking the bottle with him. "Well I must be drunk if I am seeing Mark and you together." Derek took a mouthful of his rather large glass of scotch.

"Hey." Meredith moved into the lounge room with her arms crossed. "He was there when you weren't."

"Yes he seems to have that effect on all the women I have been with," he said then followed by drinking the rest of his scotch and poured himself another.

Meredith dismissed the comment that Derek just spoke shaking her head and took a seat on the lounge opposite him, so that she wouldn't start pacing. She knew Mark had changed and for the better. "You will always think the worst of people Derek, you always have."

"Well it is hard to see any good in people when they always do the worst to you." Derek placed his glass on the glass table in front of him.

"And me?" Meredith asked as she looked at him. "And your son? What did we do to deserve this?"

Derek looked up to her sadden eyes. "Meredith you were the one that said it was over remember? You said it was so over, I knew that you wanted nothing more to do to me, I told you that I loved you and you were the one that left me. Maybe not physically but emotionally you weren't ready for us."

"And do you think that I was ready to have a child?" Meredith stood and started pacing. "Derek I might not have been ready to take the next step in our relationship, but when I found out that I was pregnant all I wanted was you. You by my side to tell me that everything was going to be ok; that we would get through this." Meredith stopped and looked at him. "But where were you?" Meredith walked over to a photo of Mark, Lachlan and her and didn't wait for Derek to answer. "But then Mark came into our lives, he stopped me from falling, he turned into the person that I need, that we needed."

Derek stood and walked over to her. "I am sorry that I left you, I am sorry that I didn't answer your calls."

Meredith turned away from the photo and looked at Derek who was standing next to her.

"But Meredith I was trying to move on. You need to understand that, I wasn't going to stay when you didn't want anything to do with me. I wouldn't be able to bare to watch you move on without me, I can't stand it now watching you and Mark." Derek walked away from her and picked up his scotch glass, taking a mouthful and he put it back down on the table. "What did you want me to do when I left, to write postcards," Derek tried to keep his voice at a normal tone, to wanting to raise it.

"What I expected you to do was answer my calls and come and be my knight in shinnying whatever like you said you were. I needed you Derek!" Meredith said raising her voice, then lowering it again. "I was scared and all alone, I needed you, I needed you!" Meredith wiped a tear from her face as she remembered how she felt back then. How scared and alone she was. Mark came into her life but she couldn't handle him then, she couldn't bare to think that she could be with anyone else other then Derek. But he persisted and stayed with her and held her hand when she needed him to.

Derek was so fixated on Mark, watching him touch her and kiss her. Ever since he saw them in the cafeteria together he couldn't get that image out of his head. And now that he had seen him talking on the phone with his son. Derek took a deep breath, he needed to apologise to Meredith, to make her see that he is here for her, like she wanted him to be. "Meredith, I am so sorry I wasn't there for you, and that I didn't answer your calls."

"Sorry is just not going to cut it anymore Derek, you left us and I don't see any point continuing this conversation. I told myself a long time ago that couldn't let you back in my life if you came back, and I still haven't changed my mind." Meredith turned around and began to walk away and back to the kitchen until she felt the urge to turn back around and just let it rip. All that bent up rage and emotion rushed to the surface, and she felt the need to just blast it at him. "The moment you left that is when my life turned to hell, when I started to fall apart. I had to answer everyone's annoying questions, and listen to everyone's annoying remarks about why you left and what did I do. And then I find out that I am pregnant and that I am carrying your baby. Then it came down to what I was going to do." Meredith held both hands open as if the decisions were right there in her hands. "Do I keep my dickhead of an ex-boyfriends baby or do I get rid of it like he got rid of everything he had in Seattle, like he got rid of me?" Meredith put down her hands.

"So you kept him, that must have been a hard decision for you," Derek said trying to sympathise with her, as his eyes sadden.

Meredith ignored his sympathy and continued. "Making that decision was the hardest thing I had to do, and that was the moment that I really needed you. I needed you by my side to help me, and no matter how hard I tried to get in contact with you, you never came Derek." Again Meredith wiped the tears from her face.

Derek walked over to her slowly. "Meredith I know that me saying sorry doesn't make up for what I did, but I am here now and I am willing to do what ever it takes to make up for what I did."

Meredith shook her head. "You being here now will never make up for you not being there when I needed you, when we needed you. And now that we don't need you, you will probably just leave again." Meredith started to walk away down the hallway.

"You're wrong!" Derek called to her.

Meredith stopped and walked back towards the lounge room. "What?"

Derek walked closer to her. "You're wrong Meredith. I won't leave again; I will never leave you and Lachlan again. I am here for the long haul."

Meredith didn't comment, she just turned and walked away to the kitchen.

Walking into the kitchen Meredith breathed a sigh of relief glad that was over. Sitting down on a stool that was near the bench she began pulling apart a piece of bread.

"How did it go?" Mark asked as he put out three bowls.

Meredith shook her head as she put a piece of bread in her mouth. "Don't ask."

Mark smiled and began to dish out the pasta. "Well Mere in my books, abandoning you and Lachlan is one of the lowest things you can do for a person."

"And that is why I am trying to talk to you to make up for what I have done."

Both Meredith and Mark looked to the hallway to see Derek standing there leaning up against the wall.

Meredith stood up and went over to Mark. "Look thanks for doing this Mark by I think I am just going to go."

"Meredith you don't have to leave," Mark said putting his hands around her waist and pulling her close to him. "We should be able to sit here like adults have a meal and work something out so where not at each others throats when you two are in the same room."

Meredith pushed herself away from him. "What happened to abandoning me and Lachlan was the lowest act he could have done?" Meredith asked.

"Well he gave me a chance after I slept with Addison, lets just say I am giving him the same chance he gave me," Mark said slightly smiling knowing that Meredith might not see things in the same way as he was.

"Well you might be giving him a chance but I'm not." Meredith walked past Mark, but was stopped by Derek.

"Meredith," he breathed as he took hold of her hand.

"Derek just go away, I just want to leave," Meredith said as she looked from her hand to Derek's face.

"It doesn't have to be like this Meredith," he said softly, ignoring the fact that Mark was in the room.

"Yes Derek it is going to be like this. You left me…You left us, and now you want back in and I am sorry you are not in charge of this situation, as I have all the cards. So when I'm ready to talk to you, or when I am ready for you to meet your son, I will let you know. Before then stay the hell away from us." Meredith pulled her hand away from him and walked away and out the door and closed it behind her.

Derek looked to Mark. "She doesn't want anything to do with me." Derek pulled his hand into a fist. "And it is all because of you." Derek also walked away from Mark and out the door slamming it behind him.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I own nothing!!!!

Thanks for the reviews and please keep them coming

Meredith got home and paid for her and slowly got out. She knew that Mark would demand he pay for it when he saw her tomorrow, as he didn't drive her home. Opening the front door she was greeted by the smell of baking, which meant Izzy would have made something yummy. Too bad Meredith didn't feel eating.

Meredith walked in to the entry way of the lounge room to see Izzy sitting on the lounge. "Hey," Izzy said happily with her mouthful. "Cake?" She asked as she held up a piece of cake on a plate which was half eaten.

"Pass," Meredith said walking in and falling into the lounge. "Why are men such dicks?"

Izzy sighed and put the cake down on the coffee table. "Is it all men or just one?"

"Just one…" Meredith held up one finger then suddenly thought. "Wait…no two," Meredith said as she sat up and got the fork on the coffee table and started stabbing the cake that Izzy had offered her.

"Two?" Izzy started to wonder who the second was.

"Yeah Sloan." Meredith said with a sigh, knowing that she didn't want the same type of relationship as she had with Derek. "Derek is staying with him."

"Hey that's my cake," Alex said as he walked into the lounge room and took the fork off Meredith and pushed her slightly so she would move up the lounge. "Oh man. Izzy did you eat half my cake?"

Izzy looked at Alex and continued on talking to Meredith. "Well you can't blame Sloan he has been friends with Derek since they were Lachlan's age."

"Izzy stop defending them I need to vent," Meredith said frustrated.

"Alright, alright vent," Izzy said looking over to Alex who was devouring the rest of his cake.

"Why do guys just leave you and then expect when they come back they can just slot back into your life?" Meredith asked no expecting an answer.

"Because were asses," Alex said shovelling the last bit of his cake into his mouth.

"Thank you," Meredith said glad that Alex agrees, not that she was expecting to answer let alone agree.

"But Meredith you have got to understand that we don't know better, and that we don't know how you chicks feel." Alex put his plate down on the coffee table. "I know that Lachlan has you, Mark and all the rest of us, but he needs his dad. I didn't have my dad around but every day I wished that I did…putting all his crap aside."

Meredith sat there for a moment contemplating what Alex just said. "I think I am going to go to bed."

Izzy and Alex watched Meredith leave the room. "Nice going there Alex." Izzy said.

"Hey if you didn't realise I gave her something to think about. She might now second guess what is best for her kid now." Alex stood up. "So are you coming or what."

Meredith made it to her room and sat down on her bed. Alex was right, Lachlan needed to know his father, even though Mark had been in the picture since Lachlan was born, he really did need to get to Derek, but Meredith wasn't ready to have him back. She wasn't sure what she was meant to do. Was she meant to do what was right by her or what is right by her child. _Damn my childhood_, Meredith thought. _Why couldn't I have a normal mother and family_. If only Meredith had a normal mother she would know what to do…or at least she might have been able to call her.

Suddenly she heard her phone ring. Rummaging through her bag she found it. Flipping it open she read the name of the person who was calling her. Mark. She didn't want to talk to him; she didn't want him to make excuses of why he was giving Derek a second chance, and how much he was sorry.

Meredith closed her phone and chucked it into a pile of clothes across the room, hoping the ringing would stop so that she could fall asleep.

It stopped. But once again it started up. "Mark why are you so persistent!" Meredith shouted as she rolled over and put her pillow on her head. Once she had blocked out the sound of her phone ringing with her pillow, she closed her eyes and fell to sleep.

On waking up the next morning Meredith quickly had a shower and got changed, knowing that she would need to get Lachlan ready for his appointment with the paediatrician.

"Good morning everyone," Meredith said coming into the kitchen and walked over to the coffee pot, knowing that she wouldn't be able to get Lachlan ready without having her first coffee of the morning.

"Morning," Alex said cranking eating his cereal out of the box while he say on the kitchen bench.

Meredith smiled knowing that Alex is never a morning person.

"Good morning everyone two guesses who woke me up this morning," Izzy said as she carried Lachlan into the kitchen with her.

"Oh so sorry Izzy I must have been dead asleep," Meredith said as she took her son from her.

"It's ok, we had a lot of fun playing," she said as she tickled Lachlan and he started laughing.

"Well I am heading in." Meredith held Lachlan to her side and checked her watch. "In about 10 minutes so do you guys want a ride?" Meredith asked as she put Lachlan into his high chair, and grabbed a banana out of the fruit bowl.

"Yeah that would be great," Izzy said as she filled up her travelling coffee mug and walked out of the kitchen so she could continue getting ready.

Alex followed Izzy out making grunting. Meredith laughed and started feeding Lachlan the banana that she took out of the fruit bowl.

Once Meredith had parked the car and she said goodbye to Izzy and Alex as they went to rounds and she walked over to the Paediatrics department where Lachlan's appointment was.

On walking into the department she let the receptionist know they were here. Meredith walked away from the desk and began to look for a seat when her eyes met with Mark and Derek who were sitting in the back row. "Seriously, what are you doing here?" Meredith asked Mark when she walked over to them.

Mark stood up and took Lachlan off her so she could put her bag down. "If you don't remember Mere you were the one that asked me to come to this appointment. And if I recall correctly the words pliers and my privates were mentioned if I didn't come."

Meredith sighed and crossed her arms. "Ok well that explains you being here." Meredith looked to Derek. "So what are you doing here? From memory I didn't ask you to come."

"By right I am Lachlan's father and I deserve to be here," Derek said plainly as he crossed his arms. Not really wanting to see Meredith and Mark together today. When Derek managed to get a hotel room after he spent a couple of hours at Joes, he couldn't get to sleep. He was tossing and turning in the bed, having the images of Mark and Meredith kiss replayed over and over again in his head.

"Lachlan Shepherd!"

Meredith turned around and looked at the lady that had called her son's name. "Fine." Meredith didn't have time to argue. "Do what ever you want." Meredith picked up her bag and all 3 of them walked into the Doctor's examination room, with Mark carrying Lachlan in.

"Big group today Dr Grey," The doctor said as she pointed for them to take a seat.

"Yeah sorry," Meredith said as she took a seat, placing her bag on the floor beside her.

"So Lachlan's is here for his check up?" the Doctor asked as she took a seat behind her desk and opened up Lachlan's file.

"Dr Wilder, would I be able to have a copy of Derek's medical records?" Derek asked taking a seat across from her and crossed his hands in front of him.

Meredith turned in her chair to look at Derek who was sitting beside her. "Seriously?!"

Derek looked from the Doctor to Meredith. "I have been out of my son's life for two years and I would like to know my son's medical history."

"Derek come on, do you think Meredith is a bad mother?" Mark asked as he put Lachlan on the examination bed and he leaned up against it.

"No I am not saying she is a bad mother, I just would like to know his medical history," Derek said wondering what all the fuss was, as it seemed like a valid request.

"Meredith are we going to have a problem," Dr Wilder said as she crossed her arms in front of her, not wanting a domestic to happen in her office.

Meredith turned back to the Doctor and sighed. "No were not, please just give me a moment." Meredith stood and went over to Mark. "Please stay here and start the examination with out me, I won't be too long." Meredith kissed the top of Lachlan's forehead and looked back to Derek. "Outside now!"

Both Derek and Meredith left the room and found a spare examination room close by so they could talk in private. Meredith opened the door and walked through and waited for Derek to enter before she spoke.

"Now Meredith please don't get angry I am just trying to be involved in my son's life." Derek said as he watched Meredith close the door behind her.

"Derek asking for his medical records.? If you wanted to be in his life why didn't you buy him a toy dump truck?" Meredith shook her head. Derek seemed to missing the point. "Derek I told you that I wasn't ready for you to be in his life," Meredith sighed she was sick of continuously telling him over and over again that she wasn't ready.

"Yes I know Meredith…when you are ready. I hope when you are ready you will include me in your life. But I want to be a proactive part of Lachlan's life now." He walked closer to her. "I want to be part of his life now, when he is young and can get used to calling me dad. Not when he is 13 years old and wondering why his dad was never around."

Meredith thought for a moment. He had a point, and she hated that he was right. _No he's not right, _Meredith thought getting angry. "Derek you shouldn't have come. Like I said I will let you into his life when I chose."

Meredith went to leave before Derek stopped her by grabbing her hand. "Meredith when is this going to end. I know that I left; I know that I didn't answer your calls when you rang. But I am here; I am standing in front of you begging for you to forgive me. I want to be here for both you and Lachlan." Derek pulled Meredith closer to him with her hand.

Meredith wanted to pull away, but again that familiar feeling was back. The feeling of being wanted, she so wanted that feeling back, she wanted Lachlan to have a family; she didn't want him growing up like she did, all dark and twisty. But Mark, Mark was their family too now; he had been there for it all how could she turn her back on him.

"I have been there with you when people left you. I was by your side when your mum died, I was there when Susan died and your father didn't want you. For fuck sake Meredith, I was the one that pulled you out of the water when you didn't want to be you anymore. And then you told me that it was over in front of a room full of people." Derek dropped Meredith's hand and walked away. "I was heart broken Meredith, I thought once again you weren't ready for us, and I did the stupid thing of leaving you." Derek sat down on the examination bed and looked down to the floor and sighed. Looking back up to Meredith he spoke. "That was one of the hardest moments of my life, leaving you. Leaving you behind so that you could move on so you could find what you were looking for. And I couldn't bare watch you move on with out me."

Meredith saw the sadness in his eyes. Her legs felt weak and she had to sit down, she felt so much pain in her heart from looking at him.

"Meredith I have been punished enough, I missed all the special moments in both yours and Lachlan's life already." Derek stood up from the examination bed and squatted down in front of Meredith to be at her eye level. "I missed seeing you pregnant, I missed seeing the scans of Lachlan and discussing whether or not we should find out what his sex was. I missed you giving birth to our son and holding your hand and being there for you. I missed holding his little hand in mine, his first word, his first steps." Derek pushed a piece of Meredith's hair behind her ear. "I am so sorry that I wasn't there for you, if I could take back what I did I would do it in a heart beat."

Meredith didn't know what to say and she could feel the tears welling in her eyes as she remembered what happened without Derek and how much she did want to share it with him. Clearing her throat and wiping away a few stray tears she looked at him. "Ok you can stay for his appointment." Standing up she walked over to the door. "But the rest of it we will have to talk about. You have to remember that Mark is a big part of our lives know, and that he has been through everything with us."

"I know and I will have to get used to that, but the main thing is that I get to be involved," Derek said slightly smiling.

Meredith smiled at Derek as he gave her the McDreamy face. She opened the door and walked back towards the room that her son was in with Derek tagging behind her.

Once the appointment was finished Meredith and Mark left to take Lachlan to childcare before they both went back to their shifts. Derek decided to stay behind so that he could go through his son's medical past with Dr Wilder.

"Meredith."

Meredith looked up from taking off her shoes to see Mark standing near the door in dark blue scrubs. "What can I do for you Dr Sloan?" Meredith asked still cranky from the pervious night.

Mark walked into the locker room. "You don't have to be like that with me, you know that I would have given him a chance."

Meredith sighed and pulled her running shoes out of her locker and sat back down on the bench. "I know." Meredith sighed again. "I guess I was angry that you didn't talk to me about it first."

Mark sat down next to her. "I know I should have told you that I had made that decision." He said looking down to his hands then looked back to her. "Were good though?"

Meredith smiled. "Of course we are, but we are in a relationship we have to talk about these things," she said as she nudged him.

"Alright good." Mark kissed her on the cheek and stood up and began to walk towards the door but was stopped.

"Mark." Meredith Paused for a moment as Mark turned around and looked at her. "Should I give him a chance?"

Mark rubbed his face feeling the roughness of the stubble on his hand. He had to think for a moment as he wasn't sure how to answer her. He had seen what she had gone through without him. "Meredith," he began as he walked back over and sat down next to her. "You know what Derek is like, he is always going to try and be part of your life, whether you like it or not." Mark placed his hand on her knee. "I guess there is no harm in hearing him out." Mark watched as Meredith put her left runner on her left foot and tied the shoe lace, and then sat back up.

"I know you're right, I am just afraid of getting hurt again, and mostly of Lachlan getting hurt." Meredith leaned down again and put on her right runner on her right foot and tied the shoe lace.

"Meredith being afraid means you have something to lose." Mark again stood up and headed for the door, but stopped. "Just promise me you will hear him out."

Meredith nodded, and thought about what Mark had said _being afraid means you have something to lose…but I am not afraid of losing Mark?_ Meredith slightly panicked what does that mean?

"Oh and don't wait up tonight, I have a hell of a long surgery today and I don't think I will get out of here anytime soon." Mark said waiting for an answer.

Meredith suddenly realised that Mark has said something. "Huh?"

Mark laughed and said goodbye then continue out the door.

The day went reasonably quick after Meredith started her shift, only seeing Derek a couple of times throughout the whole day as Mr Soy was both their patient. Procrastinating most of the day about what Mark had said to her, Meredith decided to take Mark's advice and here Derek out. She asked him to come over to her house later that night at about 9 as her shift finish at 7, so that they could talk.

"Derek's…coming here?" Izzy asked as she watched Meredith change Lachlan into his pyjamas on his bedroom floor.

"Izzy I am just taking some friendly advice and hearing him out." Meredith said standing up then picking Lachlan up off the floor up.

"This isn't the same guy that suggested you should call your son little Sloan is it?" Izzy asked following Meredith out of her son's room, turning the lights off and closing the door behind them.

"So what." Meredith stopped at the top of the stairs and looked at Izzy. "I know that eventually I will want Lachlan to know his father, so what if I want him to know him when he is young and so he can learn to call him dad." _Thank you Derek_, Meredith said, and she remembered that Derek had said that to her earlier that day.

"Ok," Izzy said holding her hands up in defence. "I just thought that it was a little strange that last night you didn't want anything to do with him, and now you are asking him over."

Meredith sighed and sat down on the chair by the stairs. "I know…do you think it is a little too soon for me doing this?" Meredith asked thinking that this is now a wrong idea. Suddenly she heard her mobile phone go off in the bed room. "Here take him and keep him occupied," Meredith said handing Lachlan to Izzy then rushed into her room to answer her phone.

Desperately looking for her phone she found it in the pile of clothes that she chucked it in last night she answered it. "Hello."

"Hey Mere."

Meredith smiled hearing the voice at the other end. "I thought you told me that you were going to be in surgery for hours."

"Well those hours turned into nothing, the patient was too unstable to have surgery, so we have postponed it until tomorrow. So what do you say that I take you to dinner, seen as though you didn't get any last night."

"Well I can't tonight," Meredith said walking out of her room and to the seat above the stairs. "I am taking some of your advice and hearing Derek out."

"Really, so it seems like I was right again," Mark said as Meredith could hear the smile in his voice.

"MERE!" Meredith's stood up as she heard Alex call from down stairs. "SHEPPARD'S HERE!"

"Mark I have to go, Derek is here, but I will call you later." Meredith said starting to feel butterflies in her stomach.

"Fine, go. But play nice."

Meredith slightly laughed. "Bye Mark." Meredith hung up her phone and took a deep breath and began to walk down stairs.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Once again like every chapter I own nothing.

Now I would like to apologise in advance, it looks like I got a little carried away with the sex scene.

Please keep the reviews coming I really would love to know how I am doing.

"Hello Derek."

Derek looked up to see Meredith standing on the stairs. "Hello Meredith," he said softly then swallowed hard. He felt really nervous about speaking to her tonight. He thought that they might be able to finally sort out some things, and say some things that have been left unsaid.

Meredith slowly walked down the stairs. She had taken Mark's advice to hear Derek out, but he didn't tell her what she should say. Meredith was about to say something but Derek interrupted her.

"Meredith, before you say anything, before you tell me that you don't want me around anymore, please hear me out." Derek walked closer to her. "I love you." Derek's eyes softened and a smile came across his face.

Meredith's body felt lip as she heard those three words, those three words that she loved hearing from him. "Dere-"

Again Derek interrupted her. "Meredith I have never stopped loving you. I don't want us to be apart anymore, I want us all to be a family." Derek took one of

Meredith's hands in his. "I don't care that you have started a relationship with Mark, and I know what I did was stupid, I know what I did was completely wrong and I am sorry for that. I want to be part of your life; I just want to be part of Lachlan's life. Meredith please let me be part of your lives."

Meredith stood at the foot of the stairs. She looked from Derek to her hand, which was in his. Meredith replayed those three words in head. They sounded so loud they echoed. Meredith looked back up to Derek; he was giving her that face, that McDreamy face. This situation felt so familiar like the time he told her that he loved her when he was with Addison.

Slowly Meredith removed her hand from his, and without saying anything she walked into the living room and sat down on the lounge looking straight down to the coffee table, which was in front of her.

"Meredith?" Derek followed her into the living room. "Meredith?"

Meredith knew that Derek wanted her to say something, something that would let him know that she was listening, or that she too felt the same way as him. Meredith continued to look at the coffee table. There wasn't anything interesting on the table, but for some reason she couldn't take her eyes off it. She was still hearing those three words echo in her head. Closing her eyes she tried to think of something else. _Ok chocolate, surgery, Mark…Mark!_ Meredith suddenly realised that she couldn't say anything, she couldn't do anything that would hurt Mark.

"Meredith?" Derek sat down next to her and placed a hand on her cheek and turned it towards him. "Meredith I love you."

Meredith lost all control of her movements. She felt herself lean towards him, she couldn't stop herself, even the thoughts of Mark, and her hurting him had vanished from her mind. All she could think of was Derek and her lips on his. Meredith placed a kiss on his lips. They felt soft, and that familiar feeling was back again. It felt so warm and inviting, it felt so right. She wanted more and she couldn't stop herself.

Derek's hand moved down to Meredith's waist and pulled her body closer to him. He wanted her, and he needed her. He missed her; he missed the feel of her body. The kiss grew more passionate and Derek heard Meredith let out a little moan. "Meredith."

_What are you doing?_ Meredith asked herself as she pulled away from the kiss and looked at Derek who was smiling form ear to ear. Again the thought of Mark was in her mind. And what she just did felt like she was ripping his heart out. "Derek I…I…" Meredith touched her mouth with her fingers. She couldn't talk, the words weren't coming out of her mouth, and it was as if the kiss had stolen her voice.

"Meredith I understand that this is so much to handle at the moment. But I do love you, and I am willing to take this slow." He pushed Meredith's dark blonde hair away from her perfect blue eyes. "Little baby steps."

There was that McDreamy face again and it was clouding her judgment. "Derek…" Again the words couldn't come out. "Mark." She said knowing that she couldn't get out a full sentence.

Derek looked away. It is not like he couldn't forget about him, as the imagers of him and Meredith had been plaguing his thoughts. "Do you love him?" Derek asked looking to Meredith.

"He has been here for me when you weren't" Meredith told him feeling as though tears were about to roll down her cheeks.

"Do you love him?" Derek asked again harshly wanting an answer.

"Derek I…I…" Meredith stood up not knowing how to answer his question. Finally the tears broke free of her eyes and they began to roll down her face. She couldn't stay there anymore she had to get away from him; walking away she headed for the stairs.

"Meredith," Derek called getting up from the lounge and began to follow.

"Leave me alone," Meredith shouted back as she ran up the stairs and to her room.

"Meredith." Derek followed up the stairs and to her room where he closed the door behind him and found her leaning on the sink and looking at the mirror. "Meredith."

"Just leave me alone," Meredith said looking down at the sink, feeling nauseas that she couldn't answer Derek's question. She couldn't think about it should didn't want to make a decision right there and then about how she felt about Derek, or how she felt about Mark.

"I just wanted to make sure you were alright," Derek said walking further into her room.

"No I'm not alright Derek, are you satisfied I am not alright!" Meredith said moving away from the sink and out of her bathroom to confront him. "Because you left me, because you left our son and you just expect to slot back into our lives like nothing happened, and now you tell me that you love me." Meredith walked closer to Derek. "You don't love me. You left me."

"I do love you," Derek said with his McDreamy face.

"You don't love me. I am with Mark, and he was here when you weren't, and he has plans. And I like Mark, he is perfect for me and I am really trying here, I am really trying to be happy and I can't be if you're telling me that you love me." Meredith said realising that she was starting to get hysterical and finding it hard to breath.

"Do you think I want you to be happy with him," Derek said with a harsh tone. "Don't you think I would rather see you happy with me? I have responsibilities to you, to our son. Don't you think that I would rather be happy with someone else, someone that doesn't make me crazy, someone that doesn't make me impossible to feel normal, Don't you think I want to be with someone that doesn't make me sick to my stomach when I think of Mark touching her with his hands." Derek took a deep breath and tried to calm down. "Don't you think I give anything not to feel like this?" Derek started to take a couple more deep breaths. He was raising his voice and getting angry. He didn't want to be angry at her, this wasn't her fault.

Meredith walked closer to Derek with a sorrowful look on her face. She didn't like Derek yelling at her, she had never liked him talking to her like that, but what he was saying to her had struck a cord. He really did love her, and she wasn't ready for him when he did tell her all those years ago, and that had hurt him.

Derek looked at her and the sadness that was on her face. He felt so horrible that he had reacted like that to her. Talking a step forward Derek put his hands on her head and kissed her passionately.

Meredith put her arms around his neck and leaned into the kiss, forcing Derek to walk backwards and sit on the bed. Meredith straddled Derek's lap and continued on kissing him passionately.

Derek slowly began kissing Meredith's check followed by her neck. Making his way back her neck with butterfly kisses until he came back to her soft lips where again he kissed.

Meredith let out a slight moan, loving the way that this was making her feel.

Derek ran his fingers through her hair as he parted from her lips, taking in quick shallow breaths as she smiled at him. He wanted her.

Meredith lifted her arms with a smile, indicating to Derek for him to take her shirt off.

Derek put a hand at each of her hips as he slid his hands up her body under her shirt as her shirt rested on his wrists and followed his hands up. When he got to her arm pits he took the shirt in his hands and pulled it up over her head and arms. Bringing his arms to his sides he looked at her as her blonde curls fell to her shoulders. Over the past two years he never forgot what she looked like naked and he had dreamed of the moment ever since she got back to Seattle. "You are even more beautiful then I remember."

Meredith smiled and kissed him running her hands up his chest and to his top button of his shirt and undoing them one by one until she hand undone his shirt. Again she ran her hand up his chest and slid it off his shoulders where he helped take it off his arms.

Derek ran his fingers over Meredith's back and leaned back on the bed. Meredith followed him not wanting to part from the kiss. Holding tightly on to Meredith Derek rolled over so that Meredith was now on the bottom. Running his hand down the side of her half naked body, Derek unzipped Meredith's pants and slid his hand down them feeling how wet she had become. Derek took his hands away from her and stood. Unzipping his own pants and taking them off, Derek slid Meredith's pants off while she was still of the bed longingly looking up at him.

"Derek please," Meredith whispered as she leaned up on her elbows and looked at him as her hair fell over her shoulders. "Please don't make me wait any longer."

Derek moved so that he was now on top of here and began kissing her and slid his member into her pulsating centre.

Grinding their hips together Meredith softly moaned no longer able to focus on kissing Derek as she fell back onto the bed. Pushing her hips closer to Derek she arched her back and Derek kissed her chest as he place one hand at the small of her back to support her.

Feeling the kisses across her chest and breasts Meredith's fell backwards. "Derek," She breathed.

Hearing her say his name made him explore deeper inside her grinding her harder.

"Derek faster," she whispered again, as she brought her head up to look at him.

Derek began thrusting harder into her, making him lose his grip on her back making her fall back onto the bed. Thrusting deeper, harder and faster into her, her moans came faster.

Derek felt like he was close to ecstasy as he felt Meredith's finger nails dig into his back as she pulled herself up closer to Derek's chest. Feeling her tighten and twitch underneath him he continued going deeper into her until they both let out a huge moan, with Meredith falling back onto the bed and also with Derek falling and rolling out of Meredith to land next to her on the bed.

Both panting Derek look at Meredith who was looking at the ceiling above the bed.

"Meredith?"

Meredith rolled over and laid on her hand looking at Derek. She didn't know what to say to him as she savoured the moment that they just had together.

Derek ran his fingers through her damp curls and smiled. "Meredith," He whispered as he leaned in and kissed her. Touching their foreheads together he spoke. "I love you, I always have, and I always will." Derek pulled his face away from hers. "But what we just did, what does this mean?"

Meredith put her hands on his and ran it along her face and kissed it when it got to her mouth. Again she wasn't sure what to say to him, how she was meant to tell him that what they just did, even how great it was, it was wrong and shouldn't have happened. "Derek I-"

Derek took her hand away and looked away from Meredith. "Mark." Again that man had ruined a perfect moment. Derek rolled on to his back, he didn't realise that he would have to fight for Meredith.

"Derek," Meredith rolled over and placed her hand on his chest. "I am not sure where we stand here."

Derek turned his head and looked at her. "Meredith I love you, and I am not going any where." Derek rolled fully over and placed his hand on her face. "I am not going anywhere this time Meredith you can take all the time you need." Derek leaned in and kissed her.

As they pulled away Meredith smiled, loving that Derek was giving her time, but it was going to be a tuff decision as both the men in her life have a lot of pros and cons. How was she meant to choose between them? In one hand she has Derek, they have a history…a great history, but he did leave her. In the other hand she has Mark, he has a bad man whoring past, but he was there when she needed someone, and he has been great.

Meredith rolled back over and looked at the ceiling. _Time to think Mere, and lets hope you make the right decision._


End file.
